A.J. Burnett’s inner monologue before tonight’s start

The following transcript may or may not have happened in A.J. Burnett’s mind already tonight. I guess only he will ever know what truly happened inside his head prior to the first pitch.

Hey – you got this. Listen … I know last time was a little rough. So what if you gave up twice as many runs in one inning than Cliff Lee has given up the entire playoffs … you got this.

This is why you get paid the big bucks. This is why you opted out. This is why you’re in pinstripes.

Come on man, it’s time to dig deep and show this city what you’re made of. You’re tough! Not just anybody can stand the pain getting those armband tattoos – only you. Now you just have to show that same toughness on the mound tonight.

Remember, if things are going too smoothly, make sure you uncork a wild pitch. You don’t want folks to think you have entire control of this game. That doesn’t make for an interesting storyline – a pitcher who is battling his inner demons has all the makings of a “Made for TV Movie”.

And you know who’s going to star in it? You, buddy. You.

But tonight … you’re the star. You’re going to go out there in front of all those fans, all those TV cameras, Kate Hudson, Kate Hudson’s family, some of Kate Hudson’s fans, and put on a show.

No matter what happens, remember that I’ll always love you.

And don’t forget to pack the shaving cream, because you just might need it … to throw in Pedro’s face after the game.