The Best Moustaches in Baseball: Part Five
Well, it’s been a few years since the last installment of the best moustaches in baseball, but after a brief hiatus I’ve decided to reinstate the yearly tribute to the finest moustaches in baseball history.
As always, the archive of incredible baseball moustaches is a gift that keeps on giving. Just when you think you’ve unearthed the best of the bunch, a bevvy of incredible ‘staches comes to the forefront.
They may not be the most prolific names in baseball, but once you hear the story behind the ‘stache, I’m sure you’ll agree all these players are deserving of recognition.
Here’s the latest crop of cookie dusters that are worthy of being the best moustaches in baseball history.
Dave Henderson is just one of the many from the esteemed list of moustache-clad Seattle Mariners from the golden era of 1977-1986. Odds are if you see a Seattle Mariner wearing one of the classic trident caps, he has a spectacular moustache as well.
Not to mention, Mr. Parker resembles a certain beloved Red Sox slugger. In fact, are we sure that Dave Parker isn’t actually David Ortiz’ father?
I’ve always have a great deal of respect for a man who can pull off a great set of sideburns. The symmetry alone is difficult enough, let alone the upkeep to keep those babies even.
Not only does Al Holland make the mutton chops look effortless, he also combines it with a great moustache as well. Come to think of it, it kind of looks like Al Holland has a whole “Shaft” look going on here, doesn’t it?
You’ve gotta give Dan Quisenberry credit here; he manages to pull off the “half-smile with a mouth full of chaw” look with ease.
Quisenberry obviously wasn’t going to spit out a perfectly good dip for nothing, so they may as well have gotten the picture while the getting was good. Also, great moustache, sir.
At first glance, Gorman Thomas’ team photo resembles a mugshot. But don’t be mistaken by that bushy moustache. Thomas is obviously an undercover cop posing as a member of the Milwaukee Brewers in order to shut down an illegal underground beer ring.
I don’t claim to know Tom Brunansky, but judging by his moustache, Mr. Brunansky seems like a standup guy. There’s something about cookie duster that heightens his likability factor by about 85%. Never underestimate the power of the moustache, folks.
Bill Greif’s horseshoe moustache was unique in the fact that it curled around at the ends, but this style is somewhat in a grey area according to the America Mustache Institute’s style guide; it’s somewhere between chevron and horseshoe.
Regardless of what the official style Greif’s moustache is, one definitive thing is that it’s completely awesome.
Phil Garner is the textbook case of life imitating art. Apparently, Garner’s nickname during his playing days was “scrap-iron” and he modeled himself after none other than Yosemite Sam.
With all this information in mind, it’s pretty easy to see the similarities. Throw a couple of six-shooters in Garner’s hand and he’s a spitting image of good ‘ol Sam.
Of course, any list of the best moustaches in baseball would be remissed if it didn’t include one of the founding fathers; Michael Joseph Kelly, AKA “The King”.
King Kelly was one of the pioneers when it came to ushering in the moustached era of professional baseball. Kelly was also an extremely adept baserunner and is credited as being the first player to use the “hook slide”.
It turns out his moustache had a pretty mean hook, as well.