Moustache All-Stars: The Best Staches of the First Half
Aside from winning a World Series ring, an All-Star selection is one of the greatest honours that can be bestowed upon a Major League Baseball player. While the game itself might be somewhat of a farce, it’s the All-Star selection which most players are proud of.
Now while some players are disappointed about being snubbed for the All-Star Game, they can seek solace in being selected as the next best thing; a Moustache All-Star. Here is a collection of the best ‘staches of the first half of the 2012 season.
Tim Byrdak (New York Mets)
The above image is obviously pre dye-job, but give Byrdak credit for crashing camp as one of the most iconic personalities in wrestling history. Not pictured; David Wright with his homage to Sgt. Slaughter.
Kevin Mattison (Miami Marlins)
When the Marlins announced they would be changing their uniforms for the 2012 season, you’d be hard-pressed to find anybody more excited than Kevin Mattison. That’s because his ginger moustache finally matches with the Marlins orange alternate uniforms.
Daniel Murphy (New York Mets)
A funny thing happened to Daniel Murphy after he recently decided to shave off his moustache; he got better. Following the eviction of the hairs from underneath his nose
, Murphy has hit .438 highlighted by a four-hit game on Tuesday against the Phillies.
So if shaving his moustache off was his slump-buster, I suppose Daniel Murphy will inevitably have to grow it back to get on a hot streak once again.
Pete Walker (Toronto Blue Jays)
It wouldn’t be a best staches of the first half list without a token appearance by somebody on the Toronto Blue Jays roster. It just so happens that this year it’s none other than bullpen coach Pete Walker.
Walker is no secret to the moustachioed arts, as he sported quite the ‘stache during his stint as a pitcher with the Blue Jays from 2002-2006. As far as moustached coaches go, Walker’s isn’t quite as epic as Sal Fasano’s for example, but it’s a valiant effort.
Jeff Samardzija (Chicago Cubs)
If you hadn’t heard the off Jeff Samardzija prior to this season, you’re not alone. Samardzija moved into the Cubs starting rotation this season, and that promotion was undoubtedly precipitated by none other than his moustache.
Looking at his biography, it’s apparent that Jeff Samardzija had the potential for a great moustache all along, as his father Sam played semi-pro hockey. And we all know hockey players have the second best moustaches in sports, next to baseball players of course.
Derek Holland (Texas Rangers)
I hesitated to give Derek Holland Moustache All-Star status because the truth of the matter is his ‘stache rivals that of Sidney Crosby as one of the worst in professional sports. But seeing as I need as many moustaches as possible, Holland made the cut … so to speak.
Chris Davis (Baltimore Orioles)
For many years, I had mistakenly referred to the above moustache by Chris Davis as a fu manchu, but according to the American Mustache Institute’s Style Guide, it’s actually a “horseshoe”.
Which incidentally is what the Baltimore Orioles have had up their posteriors the first half of the season.
Dale Thayer (San Diego Padres)
Earlier this season, Dale Thayer enjoyed a brief stint as the closer for the San Diego Padres as Huston Street went on the disabled list. Thayer converted 5 straight save opportunities in May and made the most of his appearances as the interim closer.
Thayer has since slid down the depth chart a few rungs in the Padres bullpen, but I guess that just gives him more time to devote to manicuring and coiffing that lovely ‘stache of his.
The following two tabs change content below.
Ian has been writing about the Toronto Blue Jays since 2007. He enjoyed the tail-end of the Roy Halladay era and vividly remembers the Alex Rodriguez "mine" incident. He'll also retell the story of Game 5 of the ALDS to his son for the next 20 years.