Mike McCoy is the new Slap Chop
Hey, it’s Vince here with the greatest invention since the Slap Chop … Blue Jays utility man Mike McCoy.
You’re going to be in a great mood all season because you’re going to be hitting and gloving away your troubles with Mike McCoy on the roster.
Now look, here’s an ordinary middle infielder. One slap, you’ve got a guy who can play the hot corner. Two slaps, you’ve got an outfielder just like that.
Now I love pitchers, but once in a while get those position players in there to throw a couple innings when those guys get tired. One slap, and Mike McCoy picks up the ball and goes to the mound.
Alright, life’s hard enough as it is for Blue Jays fans. You don’t wanna cry anymore. Put Mike McCoy in there and you’ll stop crying long enough to forget that Roy Halladay isn’t coming back.
Guys, we’re going to make the Blue Jays somewhat competitive again … one utility player at a time.
Now here’s the deal – when you put Mike McCoy on the roster, you either get the Joey Gathright or the Jeremy Reed. They’re both great for the outfield, or even jumping over cars if someone suddenly drives a vehicle onto the field and they need to leap over it to catch a fly ball.
Mike McCoy sells for $400,000, but if you pencil him in on the 25-man roster now … because you know we can’t do this all spring, you’re going to get Joey Gathright or Jeremy Reed. Just pay another league minimum salary.
Here’s how to order!